Part 2 of Day 4 in Sint Maarteen

Part 2 of day 4 in Sint Maarten, after we sat at Captin Jacks for a few hours talking smack and drinking what ever was given to us for free, we decided to go check out the beach since it was right behind the restaurants and walk back to my hotel since it was right near where we were to figure out a plan of action for today. (How the hell my solo trip turned into a quartet is beyond me. All that I know is, “I’m David Ruffin” and the rest of them is Otis. All tree of em! and we all know, “ain’t nobody come to see you OTIS!”)

So anyhow, we want to spend the entire day sitting there people watching. (Which by the way is one of my most favorite past times. Sometimes, I will sit at my kitchen table with a cup of coffee looking out of my window watching my neighbors for hours. Lol, don’t judge me either.) Although the food was good, the vibes were right and the people were festive, it was time for me to skedaddle. (That means leave quickly and sh*t)

As we were leaving the restaurant, we ran into a group of girls from Florida. There were at least seven of them and all seven were loud as hell, brash, full of tattoos and some had gold teeth. One was built up like an armadillo and one looked like she had eczema. One had a really nice shape, one was really, really skinny and I’m sure one was a man. I know this because they had a full mustache with a scarf thing wrapped around their waist. So I wasn’t really sure. They also had on nails, lashes, a long wig and they had boobs. So I’m pretty sure it was either a man or a burley ass girl with a mustache. (Either way, I knew right off the top, that not nan one of em was for me. So I didn’t care. Not that Anything was wrong with them but you know what I mean…? I mean… you know!) Anyhow, all of them were beautiful in their own unique way. They were just a little bit to ratchet for my taste. Don’t get me wrong, I love women from all walks of life and I like a lil ratchet. But, I like my ratchet at a 5 or 6. These mofos were the innovators of ratchet, like they were on level 10 or 11. After you beat all the ratchet heffas in battle, you must face them in a boss battle.

So one of the fellas who was a little more gregarious (that means likely to seek the company of others) than the rest of us decided he was going to go over and make small talk to get some attention. We followed him over because… Well we’re men and we do man sh*t. The girls pretty much shut him down and the big armadillo one was the one talking all the smack. She said, “Excuse you, what do you want?” He said, ” I was just coming over to introduce myself and my homeboys!” She said, “Well, we ain’t interested in meeting nobody new, so bye!” I, with a look of utter shock and disbelief said to myself, “Well that was damn rude!” We didn’t even get an opportunity to introduce ourselves to make an impression on them. But I didn’t have to say a thing and well…

God don’t like ugly and I felt it in my spirit that something bad was going to happen and boy was I right. As she was talking all kinds of cash money sh*t and being smart for no reason, she picked up a piece of chicken just bout to take a bite of it. It was in that moment… An angel of the lord showed up and stood next to her. No one could see it but me because I’m a Christian. The angel has this look of confoundment (that means to express anger or annoyance) on his face because obviously this woman didn’t have a relationship with the LORDT and didn’t know him like i did. Time had once again slowed down, a butterfly had flown across my face indicating that the inevitable was about to happen, I watched all the confidence that my friend once had leave his face. With his tail tucked and him being embrassed he slowly shriveled away and had begun to turn his back on this evil heartless creature.

The angel of the lord knew that I had just paid my tithes last week and he was about to share my blessings with my friend because I put an extra $10 in the church for the building fund. But anyhow, he reached back and with one push of his mighty wings, knocked this wide back, big foot, extra ugly, gorilla looking heffa clean on her ass. She some kinda way fell out of the chair and on her ass. Chicken wings, sauce, hair, ass crack and legs flew all over the place and it happened in slow motion.

Everybody even her home girls started laughing at her and us satisfied with what had just happened walked off. I softly whispered, “Thank you Lord!” and when i did that, the angel of the lord flew over to me and give me a high five and said, “Didn’t we tell you that we gotchu n*gga?” An I said, “Yep!” And then I walked off because the Bible said, “Vengeance is the lord and if you don’t pay yo tithes don’t be asking for shit” that’s in the Bible because I read it like 3x last week in the book of job I think.” but anyway, thats what happened and we walked on over to the beach.

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Thanks for reading, until the next adventure.

Part 3 of day 4 coming soon.