Part 2 of Day 2 in Jamaica

Part 2 of Day 2 in Jamaica

After I’ve had my fill of that delicious jerked grilled chicken and various types of libations. Teddy and I continued to people watch and gossip like school girls until our hearts content. We both sat under a pavillion that was near the bar that over looked the ocean. By this time, Franklin had decided to leave our trio to go play beach volleyball with some of the people at the resort. While he did this teddy began telling me about this white woman who was trying to convince him to do the sects with her last night. I was all into the story because I was gonna tell him what the good book said about fornication. (Because I’m a Christian)

Anyhow, while I’m listening to this story full of debauchery and shame, my brain had done something strange. It stopped processing Teddys words and time had again stand still. I could now some how see every syllable that had flowed from his crusty ass lips. Neurons in my brains had begun to fire at a rapid rate and my left eyeball started to twitch behind my darkly colored lenses. It had in that instant, it dawned on me that I hadn’t address this dirty some of ma bith about the frosted mirror in the bed room. I was still mortified about the silhouette from his ding-a-ling in when he was in the shower last night. I told that some of ma bi*h, “Aye man, we’re gonna have to make a make shift shower curtin and put it up. Because if I see anyone else’s pee-pee that ain’t mine on this trip. I’m gonna have to kill one of you muthafuckas mane.” He laughed and said that he agreed and he went on with his story. (I don’t know why he thought I was playing. I was serious, I was ready to choke this mofo with a pillow in his sleep.)

Then this white woman walked up to us while we were talking and I stopped and looked at her like, “Who is you white woman!?” Then Teddy said, “Oh hey lizabeth” (I don’t know if her name was lizabeth but she looked like a lizabeth to me so I called her lizabeth). So he said, “Hey, lizabeth blah, blah, blah!” Or something like that. I got up and left because I was not about to get caught up in Jamaica with no white woman who I don’t know. P.S.A. (I don’t have no problems with white women. I think they are delightful and very, very nice. My cousin does palates with a white lady and  my other cousin dates a wonderful white man name Jeff, he does my momma taxes sometimes.)

So after a few hours of hanging out at this resort, we all decided to go to the sister side of the resort for a change of scenery and we learned several things. 1.) The RIU Reggae, RIU Montego Bay and the RIU Palace are all three separate entities with different rules. 2.) If you stay at the RIU Reggae or RIU Montego Bay, you can only eat Breakfast and Lunch at both resorts interchangeablely. However you can NOT eat dinner at both. You can only eat dinner at the resort that you are staying. Example: I stayed at the RIU Reggae and I couldn’t eat dinner at the RIU Montego Bay but I could get drinks. 3.) If you stay at the RIU Reggae or RIU Montego Bay, you can not eat nor drink at the RIU Palace at anytime.

So we made it over to the RIU Montego Bay and GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY… 😭 There were booty cheeks, and black folks resort workers twerking on chairs, women dressed in dental floss, dudes that had muscles on top of muscles, dad bods, mom bods, women walking around with fupas looking like all sorts of snacks. In short what ever your type was they had it there. Now for the sake of some of those married folks that was there. I won’t tell you all of the debaucherious and sinful stuff that I’ve seen… But, just know that if you’re gonna stay at any of the 3 RIU properties, stay at the Montego Bay. I mean if you want to practice sin stay there. If your a Christian like me, stay at rhe RIU Reggae.

So after several hours of praying and trying to preach the word of the gospel to those heathens at the RIU Montego Bay. I left defeated and dehydrated from all of that devil juice that was forced upon me. I felt so violated by all of the things that I had seen and experienced at this resort. The devils grip was to strong here, so I need all of my prayer warriors to pray the sin away from this resort.

Anywho, we were tired, left to shower and got ready for dinner at a restaurant called, “Kulinarium ” The food there was just ok, the atmosphere was orgasmic (I don’t know if I can say that because I’m a dude, but I just did so please just overlook it.) The food was a 6 out of 10 at best. The lobster was dry and kind of rubbery, the steak was flavorful but it was tough to cutt and cold. The grouper was salty and the best part of it was the sauce.

When ended our night by going to a karaoke show that was put on by the resort and somebodies choir member came up there and showed his natural black ass. This mane could sang you hear me. I’m talking big Luther Vandross with the wet curl and sparking suit. (YouTube Luther Vandross House is not a home live on YouTube where he got on that damn sequence suit… Thank me later.) But he sung his ass off and forgot that he was doing a duet with a woman. She maybe sung two words and he proceeded to have a whole concert. Some ole black women were there from New York and one of them threw her wig on stage. When I seen that, I knew that the night was gonna be good. After our concert I had a drink or two and went back to the room.