Part 2 of day 3 in Sint Maarten, so after I ate the rice and chicken from the lady who was sweating all in the pot. I ran into some fellas from the states. They apparently had the same idea as me and wanted to go exploring. They bought ya boy a drink and we were chopping it up like some long lost friends. (It turns out that we knew some mutual people from D.C.) We all kept our head on a swivel because there was a dude there who was mean mugging us that had earrings all in his damn eyeballs. (I had already made up in my mind that if he was on some weird shiggdity, I was gonna black out on his ass and channel my inner power ranger and unleash a “Mighty Morphin ass whippen.” I mean, I was just gonna start throwing anything that I got my hands on at his ass if things went left. That included bottles, chickens, baby pigeons. I didn’t give a good got damn. I just knew if some stuff popped off, to go into straight survival mode.) But it wasn’t necessary. The vibes were great, the looks were nasty but the people were nice and we had fun. I’m pretty sure the female bartender wanted to touch my privates. I knew it because I seent it in her eyes. She was undressing me with then and I felt exposed.
Anyhow me and the fellas got in the rental car and we went to some kinda farm place that was down a mountain side. When we got there, the hill was so steep that I was sure that the breaks were gonna go out on that lil’ silver Toyota corolla. But it held up, it held up quite nicely too and I was surprised. (So if you want a car that can climb a hill get you a dang Toyota corolla).
Ok so boom, when we got to the farm place, I quickly realized that it wasn’t a farm at all. It was a giant tree house in the middle of a damn mountain valley. They had the prettiest damn male bartender that I have ever seen in my life. I’m talking about this mofo liked like a mixed between prince and and jeffery Wright (that’s the dude who played Elvin on the Cosby show or what ever his name is.) He even had on eye shadow and everything. I swear the mofo looked at me and asked me what I wanted to drink and I fucked around and looked him dead in his damn eyes. That basturd look right into my soul and made me question myself. I’m talking that mofo had eyes like a damn deer and im a straight man. I quickly got my shit together and I said in my manliness voice, “let me get a strawberry margarita with 2 strawberries and sugar not salt on the rim. (I know y’all gone judge me but I don’t give a good got damn. I ain’t gay and Im not attracted to men. My cousin is but that’s a another story for another day. But the muthafucka’ was breath taking and I’m saying that as manly as I can.) *disclaimer* ” I love the LBGTQ community so please don’t cancel me. I seen how you muthafuckas’ move and I don’t want no parts of it. As a matter of fact, i’m donating to Peta. I don’t know what the hell that has got to do with anything but i’m donating.
But anyhow this place had a dope ass swimming pool and cheap drinks. So go check it out.
We chopped it up there for about an hour and then we went to explore the island some more. It was starting to get dark and we ended up getting lost. On top of that, every bodies phone died. I knew then that we had fucked up because nobody knew where we were. Therefore, instead of us panicking and losing our minds, guess what we did…? Just Guess… I will tell you what we did. Starting damn joking. (I don’t know why black folks don’t take anything serious, we could have been kilt but we made a positive out of a negative situation.
Anyhow we eventually came to this French restaurant and had some baguettes and shit. A dog had wondered up to the restaurant from nowhere. (Now I already had in my mind, if this dog comes with the bullshit, I was gone gone slap the fuck outta him with this hard ass bread) but the dog was cool and we ate some duck and crapes and sh*t, then we left after talking about sports. (If your wondering, the dogs name was Charlie).
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Thanks for reading, until the next adventure!
