As we made our way onto the beach from that armadillo looking heffa, there was another group of ladies in the distance, frolicking near a cabana (thats like a changing room while your at the beach). They had water guns and was splashing water on one another, moving as gracefully as a gazelle, I watched them as the sun glistened acrossed their cinnamoned colored skin. They were laughing, seemingly oblivious that they had the attention of every member of the male species in the surrounding area. (Lawd have mercy these women were fine. I damn near asked one of them if they had a child and if that child needed a tutor.) But anyhow, It would have been hard to not notice these ladies, they were dressed in these scantily clad and very sheer garments that left very little to the imagination. They didn’t look like the mean and grotesque armadillo looking mofo that we left at Captin Jacks.
Nay, I say unto thee. These ladies were very tantalizing but I with my upstanding Christian self, having being just visited by the angel of the lord was not swayed. I attempted to shield my eyes from all of those debaucherious… Deviants whom had chosen to expose themselves in public in such a manner.
But Alas, I succumb to temptation and all of their feminine wilds when one of my home boys said, “maannneeee, look at that wagon that, that muthafucka is dragging right there!” *Then he pointed* An I… with my strong Godly self, could not contain my restraint any longer. I was weak, I allowed myself to be disarmed with curiosity and his boast of big booty cheeks and I looked. “Annnnndddddd GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!” This woman was so dog gone alluring (that means very attractive or tempting). She had skin the color of coffee, her hair was made up of the finest wigs that money could. Her mink lashes basked in the sunlight as they shimmered off her sun kissed face. Her finger nails were painted a vibrant neon green which paired nicely with her neon bathing suit that complimented her statuesque frame, she stopped and looked at me for an instant.
I could tell that she wanted my privates from the way that she looked at me. But, I was not going to give into temptation. I kept walking, looking onward as my friends acted as if they had lost all of their home training and morals and they reverted into neanderthals. They proceeded to snarl and bark and made lewd gestures at these ladies. Treating them as if they were mere street urchins. But nay, I say unto thee, I decided to carry my self as a King! Thou has made the decision that I would not lower my self to do what mere peasants do and I turned my gaze onward.
As I moved along the hollowed sands of the beach, holding my head up high just like majesty that I am. It happened… In a split second, this white lady appeared out of nowhere. She was laying down on the beach, in between two men that were sunbathing under a giant umbrella. I walked past them and there they were, just as plain as day. “THEM TITTIES!” They were out and perky basking in the sunlight. They were slightly bronzed, I caught my self staring at them mofos as my eyes damn near popped out from behind my shades from the shock of seeing this in broad day light. The while woman noticing, smiled at me as if she was saying, “They’re magnificent aren’t they!?” An I said in my mind, “Yes they are!”
I quickly turned my head from looking at the white woman because I knew better. I was ashamed that I looked for as long as I did. But I’m a man got dammit! I don’t have to be ashamed of looking at titties its perfectly natural… I mean, she was the one who had them out after all and she wanted someone to see those “sweater kittens.”
It was in that moment, that I realized that the damn devil had seized his opportunity to make me fall from grace. I had already let my guard down when I looked at the lady with the neon bathing suit. Then I let it down a second time with this white woman’s titties. He knew what he was doing, so this is all the devils fault.
I gathered my self and kept on walking, I was distracted and ashamed for looking at this lady that I had become discombobulated (that means confused and sh*t) that I ended up walking into this black lady. An yall remember how I kept telling yall about all these women who wanted my privates? An all these imaginary attempts in my mind of women’s trying to touch my privates? Thanks alot becuase yall got your f*ucking wish, she was the one who finally did it. She, “TOUCHED MY DAMN PRIVATES!” I was flabbergasted and damn near died, I had to clutch my pearls and… and…. and!
She was a free lance masseuse who had been hanging around my hotel trying to get me to come get my feet and back rubbed since I had first gotten to Sint Maarten. I didn’t think much about her in the initial part of the story so I left her out but I could not believe that this lady was so bold as to walk up to me in the middle of the beach and grab my got damn ding-a-ling. I was befuddled and appalled. I was shocked and said…
I will continue with part 4 of this story and wrap it up with day 5.
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