Part one of Day 1 in Puerto Vallarta

My day started with a 5 am flight to Dallas Fort Worth. The flight was slightly delayed but it cool because I had a 3 hour lay over. Once I get to Dallas, I headed to the air lounge to get some food and wait for my next flight. When I arrived I saw a 6’2 man that was build up like a Greek gawd! His skin was bronzed and was flawless, his hair was combed over to the side neatly trimmed, his arms and calves were visible and looked like boulders so you can tell that he worked out. I said to myself in my head, “Damn Kanz, you really need to start back working out and get rid of this dad bod!”

No sooner than me making that statement in my head. I heard him say, “Heeeyyyyyyy! *lip smack*” To the concierges in the lightest voice that I’ve heard all morning. It was then at that moment that i recognized what was going on. So because I had heard his voice, it made me look at him again. I then noticed that he had a pink bag shaped like a unicorn that had eye lashes on it and fur around it, there was a shih tzu inside of the bag with this little head band on with starts attached to it by springs. Then I noticed, that he had on what these women called, “Hoochie Daddy shorts!”

I was slightly annoyed because 1.) I knew that I had two pair in my bag that I just bought from old navy and 2.) An I was jealous that his legs looked better than mine.

Beause of this, it made me really pay attention to my surroundings. I then noticed that there were a lot of people either in the lounge or coming into the lounge who seemed to be living an alternative life style. I shrugged my shoulders payed them no mind, got me some breakfast and listened to my T.D. Jake’s podcast because you know, I’m a Christian and I mind my business!

Eventually I went to my gate to board my flight and I noticed that there were alot more people who looked like muscles mcghee hovering around my flight gate. It wasn’t until I saw a man, who was built up like Kai Greene (that’s the black dude with the one super long dread, whose a body builder that likes to pop and lock during his routeins! It will make you cringe and be intrigued at the same time.) He had on some skin tight stone washed jeans, a black tube top and some black 4in heels. I knew something was wrong so I called my potna and told him, “Hey man, there are a lot of gay people that’s about to board my flight to Puetro Vallarta, dont you think that’s weird and a coincidence!?”

He said, “Let me good and see what’s going on there!” I said ok and I noticed more people that lived an alternative life style showed up. My friend said, “KANZ, ITS GAY PRIDE WEEKEND THERE!” Yall, my soul dropped to my stomach and I said, “mu*thaf**ka!, stop playing with me!” He then sent me a screen shot and when I will be dipped in sh*t and rolled in bread crumbs. It was indeed “Gay-Pride Weekend!” In Puetro Vallarta. I had no idea because I booked my trip back in March and I just so happened to pick this weekend of all weekends because it was a holiday weekend.

Anyhow after I had gotten over my initial shock, I just said “f**k-it!” I had already paid for my flight and my hotel so I’m going! I boarded my flight and every thing was good.

Part two of Day 1 to Puetro Vallarta coming soon.